Just Too Composed
by Gothic Thorn
Summary: Fluttershy is hiding deep romantic feelings for Twilight. What's to happen if Fluttershy lets her guard down enough to spend a little more time with her? More importantly for Flutttershy, what's to happen if a mystery pony is added to the equation? One-sided TwiliShy. 3-shot.
1. Chapter 1

Fluttershy couldn't remember exactly when she began to have those feelings. When she realised she had them it seemed she always really had. Or should have at least. Fluttershy had always truly admired Twilight... but in one deep moment of thought she realised just how far that had gone.

It was wonderful to see such a talented and unique unicorn such as Twilight be so modest. She just _had_ to realise her mind simply wasn't on the same plane of existence as everypony else's, right? She must realise it! She must just be pretending she doesn't! Regardless, Twilight Sparkle's flow of modesty over herself just made her that much more—perfect.

It just sort of happened. Fluttershy was shopping and found her path wasn't all too far from Twilight's library.

So she stopped by.

Why not?

They had tea, and talked about their past week. Twilight was so inviting, and Fluttershy found she gradually loosened up from her oh-my-goodness-I'm-with-Twilight-shyness to her normal Fluttershy shyness. She went from her closed-inward reflections on wondering why a pony like Twilight would even _talk_ to somepony like her, let alone be such a welcoming friend, and gradually pushed those questions aside. She let herself just enjoyed the company, and Twilight even invited her to come back anytime.

So Fluttershy came back next week.

Why not?

She made weekly visits to the spa with Rarity. Why not make regular visits to see Twilight too? Fluttershy had of course been avoiding seeing Twilight unless it was arranged by somepony else. Platonic relationships were just easier to handle.

Twilight was just as enthused to see her the second time. Their conversations flowed more easily, and Fluttershy focused on seeing Twilight as a friend. When she did this, she found it much easier to act natural... she saw her time with Twilight for what it was. Seeing how beautiful she was, and imaging anything more of her... just ruined that time. Fluttershy could snuggle into this moment. Get buried and forgotten in it. When the time finally did past Fluttershy couldn't even adjust to the normal world right away. She felt empty... but only until she remembered she would see her the same time next week. And this was a candle light burning to bring her through the remaining days.

It was the third visit.

Fluttershy was exceptionally happy considering how nicely last time had gone.

She even brought cake.

But this time Twilight seemed too... dreamy. The violet mare asked Fluttershy about her week first. Fluttershy went through the usual details. Their conversations were always so balanced; they could throw in the boring details to fill some time. Her same garden. Her same same everything. Then came Twilight's turn.

"I've met somepony."

* * *

This is looking like a 3-shot, guys. Expect the next update in about a week. Thanks for reading! I don't own the characters and reviews are welcomed.


	2. Chapter 2

Twilight's words brought the weaved colours of the scene around them to fade, and drop as if it were made of water.

Fluttershy remembered she was supposed to be happy about her friends finding romance, and quickly hide the look of displeasured shock from her eyes.

Twilight was too dreamy too notice.

"Oh, he's brilliant!" Twilight continued, as if Fluttershy had asked her any of this. "He's outgoing, and loves to read! He's part of a royal family... not that that matters. He... well he really makes me feel special."

And Twilight's next few words brought a thousands twisting knifes into Fluttershy's chest.

"He makes me believe in myself."

He makes her _believe_ in herself?! Fluttershy had wanted nothing else, but to be the one to explain to Twilight her brilliance. She wanted _nothing else_ but to be the pony to bring Twilight to realise...

"Twilight." Fluttershy's words had a bitter edge to them. An edge she had wanted to hide, but it bled through anyway. "It's only been a week. You sound a bit too serious about all this."

"Oh, Fluttershy. It hasn't been a week. It's been several months. I didn't mention him, because we were just friends. But lately... it seems like we're becoming more than that. Well, he's always wanted that... but now I've finally started to open up to him in that way. I'm falling fast, Fluttershy. I think he's really in love with me."

"How long?" Fluttershy didn't mean to make it sound like an accusation. Why would Twilight think it mattered?

"Oh, umm... I think we met on a Saturday in March?"

"Okay... well, I'm so very happy for you, Twilight." Fluttershy knew it really didn't matter. It's not like she put on a calendar when she realised she was crushing on Twilight. Though, she was pretty sure it was before March...

Fluttershy remained in her own thoughts through the rest of tea. She responded occasionally to a open-ended question, but then slipped right back into her own mind. She was certain the conversation kept the unnecessary path of Twilight's mystery crush. She never caught his name. She didn't want to. She didn't want a name to channel her anger and hatred into, when it was easier to do that to an idea. It was less painful that way. He _was_ an idea, and Fluttershy sure as hell wanted it to stay that way. Ideas couldn't be with Twilight in front of her.

Finally it was time for Fluttershy to leave, and as soon as the door closed she was flooded with a wave of regret. She missed Twilight's presents, and could feel her heart throbbing for it. Things could never be the same again, could they?

Fluttershy skipped her visit the following week. Those visits were a mistake in the long run, no matter the short term joy. It was eroding her future happiness, and the more time they spent alone the more chance Fluttershy had of blabbing her devotion.

Fluttershy was never sure if she'd believe herself, but she had to try... it was easier to do when Twilight wasn't around anyway—Twilight could exist in Fluttershy's life as only a friend. Only a friend... and Fluttershy could be happy with that.

As the weeks wore on Fluttershy found herself believing this more and more. Not only could Fluttershy accept Twilight as nothing but a friend... she could begin to _see_ her that way as well.

Then it was that time of the week. Fluttershy considered testing her new resolutions... but found it was better not to take the chance. She tried to ignore thoughts of common phrases that told of the heart wanting what it wanted, or that ponies couldn't help who they fell for, or especially that if something was meant to be it would be. All was fair in love and war.

Fluttershy only saw Twilight as a friend now...

A few days after her visit should have been there was a frantic knocking on Fluttershy's cottage door.

Twilight Sparkle rushed in and closed the door as soon as a now bewildered Fluttershy had opened it.

_Damn it,_ thought Fluttershy. Twilight was gorgeous. She was in her gala dress, and her skin had a dull shimmer of product. Her eyelashes had been curled to an all new extreme, and her mane! Her mane was styled like never before. It was no longer the short waterfall of perfectly straight hair; it was flowing and caressing her face in strands that just whispered of a wave.

All hope of seeing Twilight in any other way sank to the floor.

* * *

Tune in next week for the exciting conclusion of... Just Too Composed! (You'll even read the bit of why I decided to name it that! (Also, I still don't own the characters, and reviews are nice. Take care.))


	3. Chapter 3

Twilight was panting, and her eyes hinted at tears. Fluttershy was wishing Twilight would never cross the line of caring about her appearance again, when she realised she should probably say something.

"Twilight! I'm really sorry I missed—"

"Don't... worry... about it." Twilight panted.

"Oh—Fluttershy!" Twilight threw herself into hugging the light yellow mare. Fluttershy's senses were infiltrated with the sweet smell of Twilight's shampoo. She was in agony.

Fluttershy awkwardly patted the unicorn's back until she pulled away.

"Sorry about all this!" Twilight dabbed at a tear, and sniffled. "I panicked! He's... he was supposed to come over tonight. I'm over dressed! It was supposed to be some sort of date and I just—_panicked_..."

Fluttershy racked her brain for what to say... well, what she _should_ say. Just stay here with me so I can smell you, wasn't an option.

"Sorry, Fluttershy..." Twilight began to lightly swish around her dress. "I thought maybe if anypony could help me it was you. You're advice... and I'd thought you've gotten so much closer over the past few weeks..."

Fluttershy's heart did a little dance in her chest. They were close!

"How do you do it Fluttershy?" Twilight brought a weak smile through her tears. "Remain so... composed?"

_God, I wish I didn't, Twilight!_ Fluttershy thought. _It's horrible! You have no idea how much I'd like to be just a _little_ less composed for a moment! Just one minute long enough for me to say something... anything about how I feel about you! Just long enough for me to at least give a hint. Just one little hint that somepony as smart as you could detect, and at least _wonder_ for a moment. That's all I need! That's all it would take. That's all I'd want really... you wouldn't have to reciprocate. You wouldn't even have to say anything, or fully believe it. Just wonder for a moment about how I feel. But I wouldn't let things get that far. How can I stay so composed? I just can't let myself be anything otherwise. I wouldn't know how, so I have to stay here... a prisoner of never seeking help, or comfort when I'm screaming for it on the inside... so I don't know how I can stay so composed. But I wish I didn't. I'd never want that for you, Twilight, even if you think you want it. None deserve this. I wish I didn't._

Fluttershy only smiled.

"Look at me! Getting so worked up, over nothing... so what if I'm a little nervous, right?" Twilight gave Fluttershy the twisted-feigning-confidence-smile that made lightning pound through her chest.

"Twilight..." Fluttershy exhaled deeply, and forced herself into the mindset that it was never an option to not do what she was about to do. "Listen Twilight, you're a really special pony... and if some _guy _doesn't see it he's not worth night or day to you... and if he does see it, and if he really cares, and if you two were truly meant to be... he's not going to mind this stuff. He's not going to mind that crazy Twilight Sparkle stuff... he's going to fall in love with you for these things... as one big package, because he'll think being so worried about a first date is _cute_. He's going to love every bit of you, and this is something he'd never want you to change. And like I said, if he doesn't see these things that way he's not worthy of some pony like you, Twilight."

"Oh... wow, Fluttershy... thank you." Twilight smiled and wiped away her tears for what would probably be the final time. Fluttershy wondered if Twilight really understood... then she realised even if Twilight never understood the weight of Fluttershy's words... that one mystery pony could. Perhaps he would be the one to get Twilight to realise her greatness. Fluttershy imagined what joy that would bring Twilight... and that had to count for something, right?

Twilight thanked Fluttershy and spoke of her being ready to try again... and that she was glad her and Fluttershy had become so close. She brought her into hug. All the while Fluttershy was reassessing if she could be satisfied with Twilight as only a friend... no, it would never be enough... but Fluttershy would live with it. She didn't have the physical ability to do anything else, but live with it.

Fluttershy watched Twilight leave and gave last waves and good luck's. The door closed and Fluttershy couldn't help by release a smile.

He was going to make her so happy.

* * *

As it would be any Twilishy I've written is always one-sided. Sometimes by Fluttershy's side, some by Twilight's. Maybe I should stop torturing my head-canon and write a fic where their one-sidedness somehow happens at the same time. Who knows. There is just something about this pairing that never quite gets their feelings out for each-other, for me. Thank you for reading! And reviewing! And favouring/following! And ultimately giving this a chance. It means everything to me! Much love!

Gothic Thorn


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